My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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