i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
