We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
