we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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