no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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