He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize