Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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