Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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