Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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