I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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