just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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