Christians are straight up FREAKS
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
