found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
