just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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