Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
