what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize