What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
