OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
