FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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