I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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