your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
