And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
