Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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