I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
