So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
