my room smells like sperm. sweet.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
