Buhtt sex?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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