Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize