anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
