so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
