He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
