If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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