you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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