i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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