They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
