Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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