Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
