he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
