On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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