She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
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