about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
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