Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
