I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
