I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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