She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize