Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize