Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
