Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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