We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Damn victory sex feels great
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
