there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
