I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize