youre lurking in front of me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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