But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize