the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize