okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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