you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
