I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
