Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
