weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
